i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
