i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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