Your tits are I can't wait for
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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