Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
