There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
is it fun? or sober?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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