Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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