they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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