Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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