I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
