Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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