dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
