I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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