I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
