I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
