so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
