You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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