Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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