Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize