i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We are two peas in an std pod
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
