I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize