mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
