you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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