are you so shy because you have an std?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
