ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
