that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
