is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
