Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
