i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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