dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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