never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
