I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
