By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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