just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
