Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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