so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
