Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize