I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
