Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You've changed since you got that strap on
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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