he puts the penis in happiness.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
