Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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