jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
