He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
