she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
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