I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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