He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
My penis needs a shock collar
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
