dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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