Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
this hospital has no fireball
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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