Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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