That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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