the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
