check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
