...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
