Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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