you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize