oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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