I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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