69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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