Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize