so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
she peed on how many people?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
