It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
