Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
