Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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