is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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