Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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